No Response IS a Response!

No Response IS a Response and it may be one of the most powerful tools that you can use in any and all social/verbal interactions. Many people, women especially, don’t realize that by saying nothing you actually have more power in your hands than by saying something! 

The art of saying nothing is underrated and misused. No response can convey more information than any other response could, if used in the right way, no response allows you to be in control of when as well as  what information flows. No response means you have reached the point where you are in control of who you give your time and energy to, and at this point in our lives, time is a most valuable commodity. I don’t know about you, but I no longer desire to spend an inordinate amount of time attempting to convey a message that is not being received. And if I'm being honest with you, at this stage in my life, my discernment is so sharp, I can tell when my words would be a waste of time, energy and effort and I'm real quick to 'lock it up' and keep any and all thoughts to myself.

So next time a response is requested and your gut is telling you that it’s best to just remain silent, don't feel bad about it. You're doing the right thing!  Let your silence say more than your words ever could!

Until Next Time...

Kimberly

The Middle-Aged Minx™

Birthday Reflections

 

Thoughts About My Birthday

So last week I celebrated my birthday. The day didn’t encompass the plans that I had originally made, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I enjoyed myself and that it didn’t end up being the day that I needed. At the end of the day, it was a day about me and it was filled with love by all of those who were around me. That evening, as I laid in my bed thinking over all that had transpired, it dawned on me that I may have inadvertently ‘spoken my existence’ when it came to how the day turned out.

From the week prior, I had this sixth sense that the acknowledgement of me/my day was going to be exceptionally ‘dry’ compared to years past. That’s exactly what happened. For whatever reason, not sure how or why, it was - inadvertently - a litmus test that would help clarify some of the recent thoughts that I’ve had about me/my life/my future. I realized that when it was all said and done, YAH allowed only those who mattered, at some level in my life, to reach out/connect with me and give me my flowers for the day.

From the early morning surprise phone call, that I was NOT expecting, (but was surely glad to receive. BTW, thank you for putting that smile on my face early in the morning!😉😘); to my Daddy, (yes, I still refer to him as “Daddy” at age 52….your point?!?!? LOL), reaching out and giving me love (and letting me know we’d connect when he got back in town (he and my mother are ‘world travelers’ now that their kids are grown-grown!); with the day culminating with a DM from my youngest Diamond Diva’s cousin, (who we’ll just refer to as ‘Tink’.)...

So, a little back story…

my youngest daughter’s father and I were never really serious-serious about each other. I say all that the time that she was the best thing to come out of that Spring Fling. He was out of her life until she was about six/seven, when his mother, sister and her children happened to move into the same apartment building I was living in. It was at that time that a bond of sorts developed between his family and me and I met ‘Tink’. There’s no blood or marriage connection between us, but since then, she has always referred to me as “Aunt Kim” and you could NOT tell her that I wasn’t really her Auntie…don’t even try it! (LOL)...

🎼Back to the message at hand…

In that moment, as I was reading her message to me, apologizing that it was ‘late’ (Late? How ‘bout better than never, right?), it hit me, I AM loved! Loved by those who matter! 

Those that matter don’t mind and those that mind, don’t matter!

So, although the acknowledgements have been made and the general shout-out was given on social media platforms, if any of you, who took time out of your busy lives to send your sentiments are reading this...

Thank You!!!!!

Thank you for thinking of me…thank you for racing out…whether it was via phone/video call, text message, post on Facebook, direct message on Facebook or Instagram, THANK YOU for acknowledging my existence and giving me my “flowers” while I’m still here to appreciate them. 

My 52nd birthday may have started out 'rough', but it turned out to be even more fulfilling than I could have imagined. I thank YAH that He saw fit to utilize each of you to bring this very important lesson (to/for me) to fruition.

Until Next Time...

Kimberly

The Middle-Aged Minx™

Finding Happiness in Celebrating Another Year!

 

Happy Birthday to Me!

The older I get, the more I realize that happiness is really all about perspective. Today, on my 52nd birthday, I’m focused on celebrating the fact that I’m alive. Just because I’m over 50 doesn't mean I need to resign myself to the idea that my life can’t be as exciting as it used to be. I know that there's still plenty of life left in me yet, now I just need to BELIEVE it!! 

We’ve all been there. You get to the age of 50, and you start feeling old and settled in your ways and habits. Things that used to excite you just don’t anymore, and life seems flat and boring. I just realized that what I’ve been experiencing was a “mid-life crisis’. For the past few years, (since approximately 2013), I’ve spent so much time in a ‘fog’, not understanding why I was feeling the things that I was feeling, trying to figure out why I wasn’t happy anymore. As I prepared this post, it hit me – I need to change - A LOT A LOT!

I realize that happiness is really all about perspective. So, I’ve decided that it’s time to take a long look at how I've spent the first half of my life, and decide where I want to go from here. I need to celebrate that I am still alive and kicking (or more likely, sleeping) and embrace learning how to live and not just exist.

For my 52nd journey around the sun, here are a few examples of how I plan to make this year a GREAT one!:

• Learning to love me even more than I do now!
• Developing a closer relationship with my Father (I’m referring to YAHWEH)
• Learning to truly accept me for who I am and all that I’ve been through
• Doing more of the things I love (and stop worrying about the “HOW”)
• Going places I've never been before (the Continent is calling me!)
• Launching my new business (KMSOBM) and re-launching my travel business (KMSGTP)

For those of you who have already been blessed with crossing the threshold of Year 5-2, if you had one tidbit to share with me, to help me refocus the rest of my life, what would it be? Let me know here or over on the Facebook page!

Until Next Time...

Kimberly

The Middle-Aged Minx™

Triggered by Reality TV

 

So over the weekend, I was watching "Family or Fiancé", (a reality TV show on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network, which follows the dynamics between engaged couples who bring their disapproving families together under one roof for three days as the couples decide if they're going to tie the knot.), with this episode focusing on Brijet and Andre, (pictured to the left. Credit: Bunim Murray Production |Copyright: OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network)

At the time that this episode was filmed, this lovely couple got engaged after dating for only three (3) months, and were planning on getting married a year later. They were bringing their families together to discuss their courtship (it really was a courtship as they both were dating intentionally, were abstaining and were placing YAH at the center of their relationship) and (hopefully) receive their blessings. Brijet invited her Mother, her Sister, and her Brother. Andre invited his Mother, his Brother (I think…old age kicking in! LOL), and his Best Friend.

From the arrival of Brijet’s family, the 🚩s were everywhere. I started to see so much of ‘my existence’ in the dynamics of her interactions with her family, especially her mother. Like me, Brijet grew up in a Christian household. Although I can’t remember if she mentioned the denomination (I don’t think she did), the way that she spoke of her upbringing, screamed PENTECOSTAL/CHURCH OF GOD.

As a 1st Generation Jamaican-American, my upbringing was both RIGID and STRUCTURED AS HELL! It was School (no after school activities - until High School, where I was allowed to take part in Junior ROTC (my daddy was Army), Home, Church - that was it! (If you’re Caribbean-American, you already know!)

Like me, Brijet experienced Sexual Assault. Her abuse was at the hands of a family friend, while mine was by an uncle. When she started to give voice to all that she had experienced, it was so similar to my own experience, and it was watching the show that helped me realize that I evidently have NOT completely healed from it all!

Although I was ready to change the channel, I forced myself to sit and watch the entire episode. Her mother reminded me so much of my mother...her desire to be in control of everyone and everything around her. Dictating how her children behaved, in or out of her presence, even though they were grown adults. The way she described her own child as a B*tch and a Whore when she discovered that she had been sexually abused/assaulted, (my mother took it even further by blaming me for the choices/actions of this uncle.)

When Brijet described how the reactions of her family to her assault colored her future romantic interactions and the way that she looked at herself...🤦🏾‍♀️Damn! Can she stay out of MY head and heart?

I’ve been sitting with this for two (2) days now and I realize that there’s more healing to be done and I think that I’m FINALLY ready to tackle all of it, head-on.

Please Pray My Strength!

Until Next Time...

Kimberly

The Middle-Aged Minx™

P.S. Family or Fiancé is on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network, Saturday's at 9pm/est

Fifty-Two (52) Loading...

The following is a re-share of something I posted on my personal Facebook page, that was actually the catalyst to the creation of 'The Middle-Aged Minx™' and this blog. I hope you enjoy reading it almost as much as I enjoyed writing/sharing this Random Musing.

Welcome!

 

I know what you're thinking -- another blog? But I promise that this one won't be too much trouble (then again, with me, you NEVER know!!!). 

Join me as I embark on a journey through the vibrant mind of a single, Christian woman in her early 50s who is ready to let her hair down and let her thoughts soar.

This blog will be a delightful medley of amusement and intrigue, offering a glimpse into the fascinating world of all things that catch my attention.

With an eye for the curious and an ear for the intriguing, I'm on a mission to capture the moments that might otherwise slip through the cracks of everyday life.

Here, you'll find a tapestry of anecdotes, reflections, and observations that paint a vivid portrait of life's many colors.

So, pull up a virtual chair and join me as I fearlessly share my unique perspective, revealing the joy and wonder that reside in the seemingly ordinary moments. Get ready to be entertained, inspired, and encouraged as you explore life's twists and turns through the lens of Kimberly, "The Middle-Aged Minx™".

Until Next Time...

Kimberly

The Middle-Aged Minx™